Woman gives birth to cheese

Gangsta Flamingo · 29-03-2009, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Berlin, DE -13 Feb. 2009- A pregnant woman rushed to the hospital to give birth shocked doctors and staff when it was revealed that what she had passed off as a fetus for months was in fact a large block of cheese.

The woman, whom hospital administrators have refused to identify due to confidentiality rules, has a history of mental illness, according to medical records obtained from people close to the situation. Not only has she been detained in the past for public disturbances, but she has been on significant doses of anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medications for many years.

One attending doctor, speaking on the condition that they remain anonymous, remarked that it is not uncommon for some individuals to fake medical conditions in order to gain attention and financial support. Using cheese to fake a pregnancy, however, seems to be unprecedented, even among the mentally ill.

“Beyond weird,” remarked the doctor. “I don’t know how one would do it, but it must take an unwordly level of self deception to even conceive of something like this.”

What’s more, the woman had apparently registered herself at several stores for an upcoming baby shower and had been regularly consulting an obstretician by phone.

With so much contact with others, it is unclear how she was able to keep from revealing herself for so long. According to sources familiar with the matter, all of her neighbors believed her to be pregnant, and had helped her pay her rent and shop for baby clothes and furniture.

Around 4 am on Thursday, after the woman was heard complaining loudly of severe pains outside an apartment building. Neighbors, assuming that she was in labor, took her to an emergency room where doctors uncovered a sodden and moldy mass of what they later determined to be several bricks of cheddar cheese bound together with twine.

Residents of the apartment building refused to comment, and the woman has been detained pending further psychiatric evaluation.

Woman Gives Birth to Block of Cheese

wow

Tom · 29-03-2009, 06:07 PM

ZOMG. Really!?

The mother must be proud of her son, Cheese!

Becky · 29-03-2009, 06:07 PM

That's... strange.

Zepp95 · 29-03-2009, 06:08 PM

B53n3 · 29-03-2009, 06:09 PM

may i ask how'd she get the cheese up there??

Person012345 · 29-03-2009, 06:09 PM

"doctors uncovered a sodden and moldy mass of what they later determined to be several bricks of cheddar cheese bound together with twine."

Oh god.

MagicMidget · 29-03-2009, 06:10 PM

That must be weird.

Dustin · 29-03-2009, 06:11 PM

How do you mistake a piece of cheese for a fetus?

Liam · 29-03-2009, 06:12 PM

ayvee1 · 29-03-2009, 06:28 PM

That story is a bit cheesey.

Pun very much intended.

Jess · 29-03-2009, 06:29 PM

At least we know what they'll all be saying when the first baby photo is taken...

Tio Nicci · 29-03-2009, 06:31 PM

hahaha he said "cheese"

ayvee1 · 29-03-2009, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jess8619

At least we know what they'll all be saying when the first baby photo is taken...

Jess · 29-03-2009, 06:32 PM

haha, I know, it was a bad 'un.

Arsenal-Watford · 29-03-2009, 06:39 PM

Doc · 29-03-2009, 06:43 PM

I could think of a lot of different things she could have used instead of cheese to add a bit of realism to it.

Forces(UK) · 29-03-2009, 06:55 PM

It wasn't even hers either...

ayvee1 · 29-03-2009, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doc

I could think of a lot of different things she could have used instead of cheese to add a bit of realism to it.

For instance - a baby.

The Masterpiece · 29-03-2009, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayvee1

ur one wasn't much better either son

ayvee1 · 29-03-2009, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProDog

ur one wasn't much better either son

Yeah I know

Deadairdave1 · 29-03-2009, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dustin

How do you mistake a piece of cheese for a fetus?

lol, did she even get an ultrasound??

Can see it now, the doctors in labour ask her, "Who do you think the father is?"

...and she answers, "I don't really remember, it happened all so fast. I was picking daisies in a field amongst a herd of cows and a bull. The next thing, I was caught from behind. 9 months on; and well does the baby look like me or the father???"

B53n3 · 29-03-2009, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deadairdave1

lol, did she even get an ultrasound??

Can see it now, the doctors in labour ask her, "Who do you think the father is?"

...and she answers, "I don't really remember, it happened all so fast. I was picking daisies in a field amongst a herd of cows and a bull. The next thing, I was caught from behind. 9 months on; and well does the baby look like me or the father???"

neither madame. looks like cheese

Albatross · 29-03-2009, 07:38 PM

The poor woman must be really ill.

Marcolon · 29-03-2009, 07:41 PM

omg crazy

moosey54321 · 29-03-2009, 07:53 PM

I hope she eats her baby.

29-03-2009, 06:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tom Elite Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Trying to get to Jess's Sandcastle and trying to steal her flag. Age: 16 Posts: 9,388 Blog Entries: 6	ZOMG. Really!? The mother must be proud of her son, Cheese! __________________ \| Twitter \| last.FM \|

29-03-2009, 06:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
Becky EA Veteran Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Birmingham / Exeter Age: 18 Posts: 31,972	That's... strange. __________________ party hard party hard ♫

29-03-2009, 06:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
Zepp95 Forum Junkie Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Isle of Man Age: 15 Posts: 4,607	__________________

29-03-2009, 06:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
B53n3 Pinky & The Brain Expert Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In my garage working on a time machine to take me back to the 70s or 80s. Age: 19 Posts: 15,145	may i ask how'd she get the cheese up there?? __________________ The Resident Agony (aunt) Uncle require someone to listen to you or a bit of advice? just drop me a PM day or night

29-03-2009, 06:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
MagicMidget Forum Guru Join Date: Mar 2009 Age: 20 Posts: 1,698	That must be weird. __________________

29-03-2009, 06:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
Person012345 Forum Junkie Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Peterborough Posts: 2,593	"doctors uncovered a sodden and moldy mass of what they later determined to be several bricks of cheddar cheese bound together with twine." Oh god.

29-03-2009, 06:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
Dustin Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 9,408	How do you mistake a piece of cheese for a fetus? __________________

29-03-2009, 06:12 PM	#9 (permalink)
Liam Knows His Games Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 7,492	__________________ cinderella don't you go to sleep it's such a bitter form of refuge

29-03-2009, 06:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
ayvee1 EA Veteran Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Inverness Age: 20 Posts: 10,076	That story is a bit cheesey. Pun very much intended. __________________

29-03-2009, 06:29 PM	#11 (permalink)
Jess EA Veteran Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Building a fort so Tom can't steal my flag. Age: 16 Posts: 15,137	At least we know what they'll all be saying when the first baby photo is taken... __________________ twitter. Last.fm

29-03-2009, 06:31 PM	#12 (permalink)
Tio Nicci EA Veteran Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Houston,Tx Teams:Deportivo Cali & Colombian National team Age: 20 Posts: 12,433	hahaha he said "cheese" __________________ "If I were Suarez I would of Puta'd Slapped that ball with baby powder and a Michael Jackson glove." Tio Nicci

29-03-2009, 06:32 PM	#14 (permalink)
Jess EA Veteran Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Building a fort so Tom can't steal my flag. Age: 16 Posts: 15,137	haha, I know, it was a bad 'un. __________________ twitter. Last.fm

29-03-2009, 06:39 PM	#15 (permalink)
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29-03-2009, 06:43 PM	#16 (permalink)
Doc Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Hatch Age: 25 Posts: 15,653	I could think of a lot of different things she could have used instead of cheese to add a bit of realism to it.

29-03-2009, 06:55 PM	#17 (permalink)
Forces(UK) Forum Junkie Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: 99 problems but a glitch aint one Posts: 2,700	It wasn't even hers either... __________________

29-03-2009, 07:38 PM	#23 (permalink)
Albatross Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: On earth! Age: 20 Posts: 5,911	The poor woman must be really ill. __________________

29-03-2009, 07:41 PM	#24 (permalink)
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29-03-2009, 07:53 PM	#25 (permalink)
moosey54321 Forum Regular Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: The Toilet Posts: 510	I hope she eats her baby. __________________ I'm Back!

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