The Funny Thread - Page 5

RatedR · 04-08-2008, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren

Bubblewrap

FREAKY!

A little boy was excited about his first day at school.
So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class
started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to
the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if
he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but
asked him to be quick.

Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate
and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted.

The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram
to where he should go and asked him if he will be able
to find it now. The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes"
and goes on his way.

Five minutes later he returned to the class room and says
to the teacher "I can't find it".

Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been at
the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.

So two fellas go together and five minutes later they
both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks
Jon, "Well, did you find it?"

Jon is quick with his reply: "Oh sure, he just had his
boxer shorts on backwards"

DBond5 · 04-08-2008, 11:25 AM

Loooooooooool

The Stig · 04-08-2008, 11:36 AM

Ha!!!

chemicalrubber · 04-08-2008, 02:00 PM

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

RatedR · 04-08-2008, 07:30 PM

haha great one

DBond5 · 05-08-2008, 08:38 AM

Hahahaha!

rocket2k7 · 05-08-2008, 09:33 AM

this blond drives a car. she goes past a field and sees another blond rowing a boat on some grass. the blond driving the car said "what are you doing? youre giving us a bad name! if only i could swim id ***** slap you like hell"

r88ney08 · 05-08-2008, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chemicalrubber

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
(I'd guessed by now, sorry)
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

It was a bit obvious. No offence.

The Jake · 05-08-2008, 12:34 PM

A blonde dies raking leaves.
How did she do it?

She fell out of a tree.

chemicalrubber · 05-08-2008, 12:38 PM

Haha

Why can't a blonde make ice cubes?

She keeps forgetting the recipe

rocket2k7 · 05-08-2008, 12:46 PM

what dyou call a fisherman that plays wit himself? a master-baiter!

it got 4 stars so it cant be that bad...

chemicalrubber · 05-08-2008, 12:47 PM

Comedy Central?

rocket2k7 · 05-08-2008, 12:48 PM

yep

Comedy Central â€“ Jokes

heres the site!

chemicalrubber · 05-08-2008, 12:49 PM

Me too.

DBond5 · 05-08-2008, 12:53 PM

Just got this in an e-mail at work, lool.

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting
about their relationships and decided to amaze their men.

That night all three decided to wear black leather bras, stiletto heels
and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black
leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are
the woman of my life. I love you.'
Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing
the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I
opened the raincoat he didn't say a word.....
but we had wild, raunchy sex all night.

The married woman:
I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my
husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings,
stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,

'What's for dinner, Batman?'

chemicalrubber · 05-08-2008, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DBond5

Just got this in an e-mail at work, lool.

Slacking on the job?

DBond5 · 05-08-2008, 01:12 PM

-Finger to lips- Shhhh!

CornishFairy2 · 06-08-2008, 12:15 AM

Why so many blonde jokes. I'm blonde! I'm not thick as a two planks glued together!

DBond5 · 06-08-2008, 09:03 AM

Location: Glued to the computer chair

Or possibly you are

chemicalrubber · 06-08-2008, 12:34 PM

Classic.

rocket2k7 · 06-08-2008, 12:36 PM

whats in the middle of wales? l

DBond5 · 06-08-2008, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chemicalrubber

Classic.

Haha!

Quote:

Originally Posted by rocket2k7

whats in the middle of wales? l

Awful

nedyo · 07-08-2008, 09:44 AM

There are three men in a pub, an Irishman a scotsman and an englishman.

The Englishman says "My son was born on St. Georges day so I named him George."
The Scotsman says "My son was born on St. Andrews day so I named him Andrew."

The Irishman says"Aaah, Wait till I tell our pancake!"

Ha Ha Ha

DBond5 · 07-08-2008, 09:49 AM

Quite good LOOL

missusCT · 07-08-2008, 11:25 AM

A bunch of blondes get together and decide that they're sick of all the stereotypes about their hair colour. They decide to hold a Blonde Convention, so they hire a stadium, issue an open invitation to all blondes, and hire a famous presenter to be their host for the day.

The day arrives, and the host is in the middle of the stadium. He says, "Let's get rid of this stereotype once and for all! Blondes are not stupid! Can I have a volunteer?"

One blonde shyly steps forward and makes her way onto the stage. The host says, "Well done on volunteering! Let's do a few trivia questions to prove that blondes are not stupid! What's the capital of Australia?"

The blonde thinks for a while, eventually saying, "Er.. Sydney?"
"Well, no, unfortunately that's wrong", he says, "but a lot of people do get confused with that one." To the audience, he says, "Shall we give her another chance?"

"Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" shout 50,000 blondes.

So he asks an easier question. "Who is the Prime Minister of the UK?"

The blonde thinks again, and eventually answers, "Tony Blair?"
"No, sorry, again, that's wrong, although Tony Blair only left recently. Easy mistake to make. Shall we give her another chance?"

"Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" scream 50,000 blondes.

By now he's getting desperate. He really needs to get the blonde to get the question correct.

"What's 2 + 2?"
The blonde thinks for a moment, eventually answering, "4?"

There's silence in the stadium, until eventually, 50,000 blondes scream, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

04-08-2008, 11:25 AM	#102 (permalink)
DBond5 Forum Junkie Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London. Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 4,831	Loooooooooool __________________

04-08-2008, 11:36 AM	#103 (permalink)
The Stig Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Bunbury, WA Age: 15 Gender: Male Posts: 7,539	Ha!!! __________________

04-08-2008, 02:00 PM	#104 (permalink)
chemicalrubber Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 7,694	A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied. __________________ Sig by K1NGSMILL

05-08-2008, 08:38 AM	#106 (permalink)
DBond5 Forum Junkie Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London. Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 4,831	Hahahaha! __________________

05-08-2008, 12:34 PM	#109 (permalink)
The Jake Elite Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 5,666 Blog Entries: 3	A blonde dies raking leaves. How did she do it? She fell out of a tree. __________________ My Deviantart Mary Moo Cow says so

04-08-2008, 07:30 PM	#105 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	haha great one

05-08-2008, 09:33 AM	#107 (permalink)
rocket2k7 Banned Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: its not on a sat nav Age: 14 Posts: 2,542 Blog Entries: 11	this blond drives a car. she goes past a field and sees another blond rowing a boat on some grass. the blond driving the car said "what are you doing? youre giving us a bad name! if only i could swim id ***** slap you like hell"

05-08-2008, 12:38 PM	#110 (permalink)
chemicalrubber Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 7,694	Haha Why can't a blonde make ice cubes? She keeps forgetting the recipe __________________ Sig by K1NGSMILL

05-08-2008, 12:46 PM	#111 (permalink)
rocket2k7 Banned Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: its not on a sat nav Age: 14 Posts: 2,542 Blog Entries: 11	what dyou call a fisherman that plays wit himself? a master-baiter! it got 4 stars so it cant be that bad...

05-08-2008, 12:47 PM	#112 (permalink)
chemicalrubber Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 7,694	Comedy Central? __________________ Sig by K1NGSMILL

05-08-2008, 12:48 PM	#113 (permalink)
rocket2k7 Banned Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: its not on a sat nav Age: 14 Posts: 2,542 Blog Entries: 11	yep Comedy Central â€“ Jokes heres the site!

05-08-2008, 12:49 PM	#114 (permalink)
chemicalrubber Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 7,694	Me too. __________________ Sig by K1NGSMILL

05-08-2008, 12:53 PM	#115 (permalink)
DBond5 Forum Junkie Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London. Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 4,831	Just got this in an e-mail at work, lool. Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three decided to wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch. The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word..... but we had wild, raunchy sex all night. The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?' __________________

05-08-2008, 01:12 PM	#117 (permalink)
DBond5 Forum Junkie Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London. Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 4,831	-Finger to lips- Shhhh! __________________

06-08-2008, 09:03 AM	#119 (permalink)
DBond5 Forum Junkie Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London. Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 4,831	Location: Glued to the computer chair Or possibly you are __________________

06-08-2008, 12:34 PM	#120 (permalink)
chemicalrubber Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 7,694	Classic. __________________ Sig by K1NGSMILL

06-08-2008, 12:36 PM	#121 (permalink)
rocket2k7 Banned Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: its not on a sat nav Age: 14 Posts: 2,542 Blog Entries: 11	whats in the middle of wales? l

07-08-2008, 09:44 AM	#123 (permalink)
nedyo Rookie Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 11	Three Men There are three men in a pub, an Irishman a scotsman and an englishman. The Englishman says "My son was born on St. Georges day so I named him George." The Scotsman says "My son was born on St. Andrews day so I named him Andrew." The Irishman says"Aaah, Wait till I tell our pancake!" Ha Ha Ha __________________ nedyo, The one and only Foxy08 on NFS Carbon:Own the city

07-08-2008, 09:49 AM	#124 (permalink)
DBond5 Forum Junkie Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London. Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 4,831	Quite good LOOL __________________

07-08-2008, 11:25 AM	#125 (permalink)
missusCT Rookie Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Portsmouth Age: 22 Posts: 17	A bunch of blondes get together and decide that they're sick of all the stereotypes about their hair colour. They decide to hold a Blonde Convention, so they hire a stadium, issue an open invitation to all blondes, and hire a famous presenter to be their host for the day. The day arrives, and the host is in the middle of the stadium. He says, "Let's get rid of this stereotype once and for all! Blondes are not stupid! Can I have a volunteer?" One blonde shyly steps forward and makes her way onto the stage. The host says, "Well done on volunteering! Let's do a few trivia questions to prove that blondes are not stupid! What's the capital of Australia?" The blonde thinks for a while, eventually saying, "Er.. Sydney?" "Well, no, unfortunately that's wrong", he says, "but a lot of people do get confused with that one." To the audience, he says, "Shall we give her another chance?" "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" shout 50,000 blondes. So he asks an easier question. "Who is the Prime Minister of the UK?" The blonde thinks again, and eventually answers, "Tony Blair?" "No, sorry, again, that's wrong, although Tony Blair only left recently. Easy mistake to make. Shall we give her another chance?" "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" scream 50,000 blondes. By now he's getting desperate. He really needs to get the blonde to get the question correct. "What's 2 + 2?" The blonde thinks for a moment, eventually answering, "4?" There's silence in the stadium, until eventually, 50,000 blondes scream, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"