The Funny Thread - Page 4

Anima Flux · 30-07-2008, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EAUK_Aurora

No, all my jokes are wholly inappropriate

Funny as anything though

Ditto.

My sense of humour can be abit.....well lets say not very politically correct as times.

But, the ones that aren't that bad, aren't really suitable for the younger age groups on here lol.

AarontheblueSmurf · 30-07-2008, 02:06 PM

I have one

Once there was a man and he said hey, nero said just said Numbers, next then you know the guys dead because nero was saying 'watch out an agent is behind you'

Really i made that up

chemicalrubber · 30-07-2008, 02:24 PM

Rephrase that in English please.

HASSARD2004 · 30-07-2008, 02:45 PM

What's round with a line down the middle?
Your bum

DBond5 · 30-07-2008, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AarontheblueSmurf

I have one

Once there was a man and he said hey, nero said just said Numbers, next then you know the guys dead because nero was saying 'watch out an agent is behind you'

Really i made that up

You can tell, LOOL

RatedR · 30-07-2008, 04:16 PM

haha, just been to watch The Dark Night, great film.

Here`s a good one:
There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The
woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they
couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny.

The husband then donated some of his skin..... however, the only place
suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks.

The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all
this was a very delicate matter!

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's
new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All
her friends and relatives just raved about her youthful beauty!

She was alone with her husband one day and she wanted to thank him for
what he had done. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for
everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!!!"

He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough every
time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!!"

DBond5 · 30-07-2008, 04:27 PM

Haha!

RatedR · 30-07-2008, 04:33 PM

To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells
her it'll make her fat. "I won't do it any more, Mom," says the daughter.
Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. "If I bite my
fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom?" "You'll be fatter than
that," says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a
very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's
belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this
stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, "Excuse me,
but do you know me?" And the little girl says, "No, but I know what you've
been doing..."

rocket2k7 · 30-07-2008, 06:22 PM

lol

knock knock

bob

bob saggot

....

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAAHHA!!!!

RatedR · 31-07-2008, 12:38 PM

im afraid i dont get it.

haha

r88ney08 · 01-08-2008, 09:41 PM

War over religion is war over who has the best imaginary friends. LOL

RatedR · 02-08-2008, 11:59 AM

haha

good one

RatedR · 02-08-2008, 12:42 PM

A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out...I'm freakin' out...my pee's coming out in four streams."He says, "Get up on the table and I'll see what I can do."She gets up on the table, and as he's examining her, he starts to giggle.She says, "It's not funny. My pee's coming out in four streams."He says, "It won't anymore. I took the trouser button out of there."

chemicalrubber · 02-08-2008, 12:49 PM

Lah.

RatedR · 02-08-2008, 12:51 PM

Lah? What does that mean?

Here`s another:
"I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend.
"I gave a poor beggar $25."
"Thats a lot of money to give away," says her friend. "What did your
husband say?"
"He said, 'Thank you'. "

Nutter · 02-08-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EAUK_Aurora

No, all my jokes are wholly inappropriate

Funny as anything though

I have a joke... I probably couldn't even call it a joke cause it shouldn't be funny.
Well put it this way. I said it to one of my mates, and I had about 10 people overhear it, stop and then stare at me in Horror!

The Stig · 02-08-2008, 02:58 PM

What's Red and hangs in an Orange tree?

A stupid Strawberry!

RatedR · 02-08-2008, 05:03 PM

haha

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride
if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will
never open. The bride agrees.

After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has
been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000.

She confronts her mate with her findings, and asks for an
explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you,
I put a golf ball in the drawer."

She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad. But what about the
$6,000? He explains "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls,
I sold 'em!"

nedyo · 03-08-2008, 10:10 AM

Guys, Dont buy anything from the fizzy drinks man.
Hes got AIDS.

Orangeade, Lemonade, Cherryade and Pearade!

LOL!

:teet h:

chemicalrubber · 03-08-2008, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YeovilTown

haha

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride
if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will
never open. The bride agrees.

After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has
been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000.

She confronts her mate with her findings, and asks for an
explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you,
I put a golf ball in the drawer."

She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad. But what about the
$6,000? He explains "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls,
I sold 'em!"

Ha

Quote:

Originally Posted by nedyo

Guys, Dont buy anything from the fizzy drinks man.
Hes got AIDS.

Orangeade, Lemonade, Cherryade and Pearade!

LOL!

:teet h:

Ha

nedyo · 03-08-2008, 10:20 AM

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1395/...45de83.jpg?v=0

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1303/...9bd903.jpg?v=0

chemicalrubber · 03-08-2008, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nedyo

Funny Huh!Next!

Ha..

Lauren · 03-08-2008, 10:50 AM

Bubblewrap

Winterrowd.com - Bubble Wrap Maniac

chemicalrubber · 03-08-2008, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren

Bubblewrap

Winterrowd.com - Bubble Wrap Maniac

I knew it.

At least I muted the speakers...

DBond5 · 04-08-2008, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YeovilTown

haha

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride
if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will
never open. The bride agrees.

After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has
been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000.

She confronts her mate with her findings, and asks for an
explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you,
I put a golf ball in the drawer."

She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad. But what about the
$6,000? He explains "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls,
I sold 'em!"

Nice one haha

30-07-2008, 02:06 PM	#77 (permalink)
AarontheblueSmurf EA Veteran Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: South London :? Age: 14 Gender: Male Posts: 10,760 Blog Entries: 2	I have one Once there was a man and he said hey, nero said just said Numbers, next then you know the guys dead because nero was saying 'watch out an agent is behind you' Really i made that up __________________ Last.fm

30-07-2008, 02:24 PM	#78 (permalink)
chemicalrubber Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 7,643	Rephrase that in English please. __________________ Sig by K1NGSMILL

30-07-2008, 02:45 PM	#79 (permalink)
HASSARD2004 EA Veteran Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Enniskillen, N.Ireland Age: 15 Gender: Male Posts: 23,980 Blog Entries: 2	What's round with a line down the middle? Your bum __________________ Thank-you for the Sig Cesc. You Can Call Me Aaron, Hassard Or Just HASSARD2004 R.I.P Debi - My wonderful friend

30-07-2008, 04:27 PM	#82 (permalink)
DBond5 Forum Junkie Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London. Age: 20 Gender: Male Posts: 4,763	Haha! __________________

01-08-2008, 09:41 PM	#86 (permalink)
r88ney08 Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Home, on a computer Gender: Male Posts: 879 Blog Entries: 1	War over religion is war over who has the best imaginary friends. LOL __________________ Yes, men, women and children, I'm back.

30-07-2008, 04:16 PM	#81 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	haha, just been to watch The Dark Night, great film. Here`s a good one: There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny. The husband then donated some of his skin..... however, the only place suitable to the doctor was from his buttocks. The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all this was a very delicate matter! After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All her friends and relatives just raved about her youthful beauty! She was alone with her husband one day and she wanted to thank him for what he had done. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!!!" He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty thanks enough every time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek!!"

30-07-2008, 04:33 PM	#83 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it'll make her fat. "I won't do it any more, Mom," says the daughter. Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. "If I bite my fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom?" "You'll be fatter than that," says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, "Excuse me, but do you know me?" And the little girl says, "No, but I know what you've been doing..."

30-07-2008, 06:22 PM	#84 (permalink)
rocket2k7 Banned Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: its not on a sat nav Age: 14 Posts: 2,542 Blog Entries: 11	lol knock knock bob bob saggot .... HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAAHHA!!!!

31-07-2008, 12:38 PM	#85 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	im afraid i dont get it. haha

02-08-2008, 11:59 AM	#87 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	haha good one

02-08-2008, 12:42 PM	#88 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out...I'm freakin' out...my pee's coming out in four streams."He says, "Get up on the table and I'll see what I can do."She gets up on the table, and as he's examining her, he starts to giggle.She says, "It's not funny. My pee's coming out in four streams."He says, "It won't anymore. I took the trouser button out of there."

02-08-2008, 12:49 PM	#89 (permalink)
chemicalrubber Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 7,643	Lah. __________________ Sig by K1NGSMILL

02-08-2008, 12:51 PM	#90 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	Lah? What does that mean? Here`s another: "I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend. "I gave a poor beggar $25." "Thats a lot of money to give away," says her friend. "What did your husband say?" "He said, 'Thank you'. "

02-08-2008, 02:58 PM	#92 (permalink)
The Stig Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Bunbury, WA Age: 15 Gender: Male Posts: 7,382	What's Red and hangs in an Orange tree? A stupid Strawberry! __________________

02-08-2008, 05:03 PM	#93 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	haha A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000. She confronts her mate with her findings, and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer." She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad. But what about the $6,000? He explains "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold 'em!"

03-08-2008, 10:20 AM	#96 (permalink)
nedyo Rookie Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 11	Wrong Job URL http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1395/...45de83.jpg?v=0 http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1303/...9bd903.jpg?v=0 Last edited by nedyo; 03-08-2008 at 10:28 AM..

03-08-2008, 10:50 AM	#98 (permalink)
Lauren Elite Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sat in her house deliberating whether to change her facebook status. Gender: Female Posts: 7,340 Blog Entries: 3	Bubblewrap Winterrowd.com - Bubble Wrap Maniac __________________ "I'm not, like, young and, like, stupid!" LaurenAndLuce-GingerMidgets!

03-08-2008, 10:10 AM	#94 (permalink)
nedyo Rookie Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 11	Fizzy Joke Guys, Dont buy anything from the fizzy drinks man. Hes got AIDS. Orangeade, Lemonade, Cherryade and Pearade! LOL!:teet h: