The Funny Thread - Page 2

RatedR · 29-07-2008, 12:58 PM

haha

henzy · 29-07-2008, 01:06 PM

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'. 'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'
The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the agent said, 'Watch this.' He told Sniffer to 'search.'
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.'
'Say, that's fantastic!,' replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'
I like it!' said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to 'search' again..
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to 'do his business' all over the seat.
The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the agent, 'What's going on?'
The agent nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb.'

B53n3 · 29-07-2008, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron

I haven't laughed yet.

Refund, please?

none of these are funny.

RatedR · 29-07-2008, 01:35 PM

DBond5 · 29-07-2008, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by henzy

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'. 'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'
The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the agent said, 'Watch this.' He told Sniffer to 'search.'
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.'
'Say, that's fantastic!,' replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'
I like it!' said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to 'search' again..
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to 'do his business' all over the seat.
The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the agent, 'What's going on?'
The agent nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb.'

Now that's a joke! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Anima Flux · 29-07-2008, 03:33 PM

[Removed]

Madness11 · 29-07-2008, 03:57 PM

to use spoilers use these [ spoiler ] [ /spoiler ]

and take out the spaces

Warning! Spoiler Below:
this is a spoiler

RatedR · 29-07-2008, 06:20 PM

[spoiler ][/spoiler]

damn! doesn`t work

Here is a joke:

RatedR · 29-07-2008, 06:24 PM

What do u call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto!

rocket2k7 · 29-07-2008, 06:47 PM

what do a disabled man and a woman have in comon?

they both cant drive

med it up now :>)

RatedR · 29-07-2008, 06:55 PM

I bet Aaron doesn`t get it

Aaron · 29-07-2008, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rocket2k7

what do a disabled man and a woman have in comon?

they both cant drive

med it up now :>)

You really think that's funny?

Jonny · 29-07-2008, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron

You really think that's funny?

I agree with you.

But Aaron, you do have a dry sense of humour.

Gangsta Flamingo · 29-07-2008, 11:24 PM

Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Colliseum.

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow, I take our glorious army to conquer Northern Europe, and I shall start with France. We shall kill many Gauls and return victorious."

The crowd are up on their feet. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees*, hail mighty Caesar!"

Brutus turns to his mate and says "He doesn't half talk some rubbish, eh? He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag."

Six months later, Caesar comes back, having conqured France, and addresses the crowd in the Colliseum. "Friends, Romans countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls."

The crowd are up on their feet again. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees*, hail mighty Caesar!"

Brutus once again turns to his mate. "I'm sick of his nonsense, I'm off to France to check this out."

So Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to Rome. Caesar is addressing the public in the Colliseum again "Friends, Romans, countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to sort those b*stards out!"

The crowd are up on their feet. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees*, hail mighty Caesar!"

Brutus jumps up and shouts "Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000 !!!!"

The crowd are stunned and all sit down in silence.

Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Colliseum then across at Brutus and says "Brutus, you are forgetting one thing.........

Away Gauls count double in Europe."

DBond5 · 30-07-2008, 08:11 AM

Lol!

rocket2k7 · 30-07-2008, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron

You really think that's funny?

not rely i med it up streit away

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny

I agree with you.

But Aaron, you do have a dry sense of humour.

i no

you laff like dis

not like that

Aaron · 30-07-2008, 09:29 AM

Right, well firstly, being "disabled" doesn't mean you can't drive, so the "joke" makes no sense.

As for making disabled people the subject of jokes, um. Grow up?

EAUK_Aurora · 30-07-2008, 10:07 AM

Please make sure that any jokes are appropriate and suitable for the forum

RatedR · 30-07-2008, 10:11 AM

Aaron, Don`t you have a joke?

RatedR · 30-07-2008, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EAUK_Aurora

Please make sure that any jokes are appropriate and suitable for the forum

Do you have any "appropriate" ones?

EAUK_Aurora · 30-07-2008, 10:12 AM

No, all my jokes are wholly inappropriate

Funny as anything though

RatedR · 30-07-2008, 10:21 AM

Can you PM me one?

I`m almost smashing my computer coz i wana hear one.

EAUK_Aurora · 30-07-2008, 10:26 AM

Nope, no can do I am afraid.

RatedR · 30-07-2008, 10:33 AM

Okay, you win.

John

amn! You`re Fat!
Fat Guy:Real beauty is skin deep
John:Then it`s a deep search for you,fatty!

Aaron · 30-07-2008, 10:36 AM

What's next, Jews?

29-07-2008, 01:06 PM	#27 (permalink)
henzy Hi, I'm New! Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1	Joke A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'. 'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.' The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the agent said, 'Watch this.' He told Sniffer to 'search.' Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.' 'Say, that's fantastic!,' replied the first man. Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.' I like it!' said his seat mate. The agent then told Sniffer to 'search' again.. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to 'do his business' all over the seat. The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the agent, 'What's going on?' The agent nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb.'

29-07-2008, 03:33 PM	#31 (permalink)
Anima Flux Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: Wales Age: 22 Gender: Male Posts: 5,938	[Removed] __________________

29-07-2008, 03:57 PM	#32 (permalink)
Madness11 EA Veteran Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: South East London! Age: 16 Gender: Male Posts: 13,037 Blog Entries: 6	to use spoilers use these [ spoiler ] [ /spoiler ] and take out the spaces Warning! Spoiler Below: this is a spoiler __________________ RIP Debi BE LOUD, BE PROUD, BE PALACE!

29-07-2008, 06:20 PM	#33 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	[spoiler ][/spoiler] damn! doesn`t work Here is a joke: Last edited by RatedR; 29-07-2008 at 06:23 PM..

29-07-2008, 06:24 PM	#34 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	What do u call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto! Last edited by RatedR; 29-07-2008 at 06:35 PM..

29-07-2008, 12:58 PM	#26 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	haha

29-07-2008, 01:35 PM	#29 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400

29-07-2008, 06:47 PM	#35 (permalink)
rocket2k7 Banned Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: its not on a sat nav Age: 14 Posts: 2,542 Blog Entries: 11	what do a disabled man and a woman have in comon? they both cant drive med it up now :>)

29-07-2008, 06:55 PM	#36 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	I bet Aaron doesn`t get it

29-07-2008, 11:24 PM	#39 (permalink)
Gangsta Flamingo Elite Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: EE.UU Gender: Private Posts: 6,827	Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Colliseum. "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow, I take our glorious army to conquer Northern Europe, and I shall start with France. We shall kill many Gauls and return victorious." The crowd are up on their feet. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar!" Brutus turns to his mate and says "He doesn't half talk some rubbish, eh? He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag." Six months later, Caesar comes back, having conqured France, and addresses the crowd in the Colliseum. "Friends, Romans countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls." The crowd are up on their feet again. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar!" Brutus once again turns to his mate. "I'm sick of his nonsense, I'm off to France to check this out." So Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to Rome. Caesar is addressing the public in the Colliseum again "Friends, Romans, countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to sort those bstards out!" The crowd are up on their feet. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar!" Brutus jumps up and shouts "Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000 !!!!" The crowd are stunned and all sit down in silence. Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Colliseum then across at Brutus and says "Brutus, you are forgetting one thing......... Away Gauls count double in Europe." __________________ I am the Adolf Hitler of having sex.

30-07-2008, 08:11 AM	#40 (permalink)
DBond5 Forum Junkie Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: London. Age: 21 Gender: Male Posts: 4,831	Lol! __________________

30-07-2008, 09:29 AM	#42 (permalink)
Aaron EA Veteran Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 27,982	Right, well firstly, being "disabled" doesn't mean you can't drive, so the "joke" makes no sense. As for making disabled people the subject of jokes, um. Grow up?

30-07-2008, 10:07 AM	#43 (permalink)
EAUK_Aurora Community Representative Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: UK Gender: Female Posts: 55,517 Blog Entries: 257	Please make sure that any jokes are appropriate and suitable for the forum __________________ Aurora Community Representative Electronic Arts View past Signature Showcase entries Currently playing The Sims 3 and Brutal Legend Looking forward to The Sims 3 World Adventures

30-07-2008, 10:11 AM	#44 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	Aaron, Don`t you have a joke?

30-07-2008, 10:12 AM	#46 (permalink)
EAUK_Aurora Community Representative Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: UK Gender: Female Posts: 55,517 Blog Entries: 257	No, all my jokes are wholly inappropriate Funny as anything though __________________ Aurora Community Representative Electronic Arts View past Signature Showcase entries Currently playing The Sims 3 and Brutal Legend Looking forward to The Sims 3 World Adventures

30-07-2008, 10:21 AM	#47 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	Can you PM me one? I`m almost smashing my computer coz i wana hear one.

30-07-2008, 10:26 AM	#48 (permalink)
EAUK_Aurora Community Representative Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: UK Gender: Female Posts: 55,517 Blog Entries: 257	Nope, no can do I am afraid. __________________ Aurora Community Representative Electronic Arts View past Signature Showcase entries Currently playing The Sims 3 and Brutal Legend Looking forward to The Sims 3 World Adventures

30-07-2008, 10:33 AM	#49 (permalink)
RatedR Banned Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Preston, Lancashire Fave Team: Preston Gender: Male Posts: 4,400	Okay, you win. Johnamn! You`re Fat! Fat Guy:Real beauty is skin deep John:Then it`s a deep search for you,fatty!

30-07-2008, 10:36 AM	#50 (permalink)
Aaron EA Veteran Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 27,982	What's next, Jews?