Tell Me ???

BELFASTREDS · 26-08-2009, 12:39 PM

A JOKE !!!

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

Albatross · 26-08-2009, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BELFASTREDS

A JOKE !!!

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

I like that.

Albatross · 26-08-2009, 01:00 PM

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and
he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . .

Wait for it. .

It's coming. .

The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

BELFASTREDS · 26-08-2009, 01:02 PM

L.m.a.o

ZaekanoYto · 26-08-2009, 01:04 PM

Two people crashed their cars to each other.
The first man said "this has been destiny that we meet, like this and survive well"
The second man agreed
The first man said "here drink beer to celebrate it"
The second man drank
The first man smiled
Now the second man will be blamed for being drunk

Dustin · 26-08-2009, 01:04 PM

Those are both good.

Albatross · 30-08-2009, 04:16 PM

Two blondes are standing outside their locked car trying their best to get in because one of them has left the keys inside. One says to the other, "We really need to get in soon because it's going to rain and the seats will get wet because the roof is down."

Maxen13 · 01-09-2009, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Albatross

Two blondes are standing outside their locked car trying their best to get in because one of them has left the keys inside. One says to the other, "We really need to get in soon because it's going to rain and the seats will get wet because the roof is down."

Isn't this the same joke as in the original post?

Albatross · 19-09-2009, 10:52 PM

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: TALKING DOG FOR SALE. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a rotten liar. He never did any of that stuff.'

26-08-2009, 12:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
BELFASTREDS Forum Junkie Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Work, Home, Work, Home Gender: Male Posts: 3,580	Tell Me ??? A JOKE !!! Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches. Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down". __________________ CLUB MANAGER OF - FIFA 10 LEGENDS XI

26-08-2009, 01:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
Albatross Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: On earth! Age: 19 Gender: Female Posts: 5,911	A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! 'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?' 'No,' she replies. . . Wait for it. . It's coming. . The suspense is killing you, isn't it? 'You just happened to catch my eye.' __________________

26-08-2009, 01:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
BELFASTREDS Forum Junkie Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Work, Home, Work, Home Gender: Male Posts: 3,580	L.m.a.o __________________ CLUB MANAGER OF - FIFA 10 LEGENDS XI

26-08-2009, 01:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
ZaekanoYto Forum Guru Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Universe ,Phil Age: 14 Gender: Male Posts: 1,535	Two people crashed their cars to each other. The first man said "this has been destiny that we meet, like this and survive well" The second man agreed The first man said "here drink beer to celebrate it" The second man drank The first man smiled Now the second man will be blamed for being drunk __________________ Hey, I'm Zaekano Have a Great Smile a great cool guy of extremes Forum Rules incase you need to read the rules, click my sig

26-08-2009, 01:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dustin Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: United States Age: 20 Gender: Male Posts: 8,423	Those are both good. __________________

30-08-2009, 04:16 PM	#7 (permalink)
Albatross Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: On earth! Age: 19 Gender: Female Posts: 5,911	Two blondes are standing outside their locked car trying their best to get in because one of them has left the keys inside. One says to the other, "We really need to get in soon because it's going to rain and the seats will get wet because the roof is down." __________________

19-09-2009, 10:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
Albatross Elite Join Date: May 2008 Location: On earth! Age: 19 Gender: Female Posts: 5,911	A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: TALKING DOG FOR SALE. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars,' the guy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' 'Because he's a rotten liar. He never did any of that stuff.' __________________