Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Melbourne.

One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!'

Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz.

You wanna try it?'

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.
...

Carew Fined 'Pretty Heavily' After Lapdance Escapade



Aston Villa striker John Carew has been hit with a 'pretty heavy' fine by club manager Martin O'Neill for his decision to visit a lapdancing club within hours of a Uefa Cup tie against Ajax...


Carew was spotted at a lapdancing venue in the early hours of Thursday morning - the same day that...

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er. . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?

BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with...

The world's heaviest man has married in ceremony in Mexico

The world's heaviest man has married in ceremony in Mexico


MONTERREY, Mexico - The world's heaviest man has tied the knot.
Manuel Uribe, who hasn't left his bed in six years, married his longtime girlfriend, Claudia Solis, on Sunday in northern Mexico.

Wearing a white silk shirt with a sheet wrapped around his legs, Uribe smiled as Solis, 38, walked down a flight of stairs wearing a strapless...